Make it scalable

INVEST IN EFFICIENCY

The first several months are built up of constantly repeated tasks. Efficient as it would be, you cannot feed your child a gallon in the morning and be good for a couple days. This can be frustrating for people who are used to being able to plan ahead and be proactive. 

It will be easy to overlook minor inconveniences or inefficiencies at the beginning and put off tweaking your process, but remind yourself that you will be doing each of these things A LOT.

And since these tasks recur in almost identical ways each day, small boosts in performance have huge net gains over time. Once you get the muscle memory for diapers, you can whip through a midnight change like that Dominos guy.

So make things easy for yourself wherever possible:

• Set up a changing station with items laid out in easy, ordered reach (wipes, pail, lotion/cream, new diaper)

• Give yourself enough space to do a swaddle

• Get the formula that lets you prep all the day's bottles at once

• Keep snacks, blanket, time-filling material where you pump so that you're not running back and forth all trussed up, extending each session

If this could be summed up in a cross-stitch quote, it would be, "Don't make yourself fight with tiny buttons in the middle of the night." 

 

FIGHT SCOPE CREEP

I had to withdraw from an online parenting group four days after my son was born. I had become so overwhelmed by all the posts about thieving preteens and three-nagers that bite harder than the family dog.

Parenting is hard! There are uncountable interactions, each one with the potential to put you and your child on the path to death, destruction, or Dearest, Mommie. How does anyone survive??

By focusing on the problem in front of you.

You will not get your child into an ivy league college during the first three months. You only need to keep them alive.

Do not add unmeetable requirements to an already unwieldy problem statement. Focus on the kid you have, the immediate thing that needs solving, and let another squad worry about The Plight of Sippy Cups in Oral Development.

RELEASE EARLY, RELEASE OFTEN

We often say that a small, testable solution is better than something perfect too late. For writers, that translates to "you can't edit a blank page." As new parents, that became, "Try something."

There is no perfect baby thing. This is true whether you're seeking a crib, stroller, wipe, or diaper system. There is only what is right for you, right then. 

For the big stuff (you probably cannot afford a library of car seats), remember that agonizing too long for the "best" version simply means you now have a different problem. If you struggle with this, try time-boxing your research windows. "We're going to pick a sleep sack by Friday. Whatever seems like the best idea by that day is what we're going to try first." Then walk away from the decision and revisit when it's time for the next hurdle.

For the small stuff, remember you are always testing. This will not be the last bib you buy, or the only time your child will experience shoes. Sample packs are your friends, as are hand-me-downs so you can try a bunch of options and get more of what works. Your kid might prefer glass bottles shaped like a boob or reject breastfeeding entirely. The point is you cannot know what will be successful until you try it, so give yourself every opportunity to test small and iterate on what looks promising.